MyThreeDaisies

I am determined to make a new order in my home. Okay, so perhaps it won’t change the world, but you never know! I don’t want to lead the new order like a drill sergeant, but I want to lead in example by being a better follower. I have always prayed that the Lord would help me teach my daughters to grow up to be lovely women and eventually , good wives, and it has only been recently that I’ve began to take responsibility for how badly I’ve started them off.

Everyone knows how deep my convictions about homeschooling are, and my desire to see my daisies blossom into honorable Christian women is just as deep, and in actuality, is the driving force behind that conviction. I cannot think of a greater failure than to have children that disrespect their parents, later their spouses, and ultimately their God. So what have I done to teach them respect so far? Have I prayed with them, taught them Bible truths, taken great care as to what influences are in their lives, taken them to church, taught them modesty and self respect? Yes, of course I have. But besides lectures and lessons, and even more so, they learn from example. I have been far from the best example in learning respect.

I cannot recall even one time that my mother ever complained about being my father’s wife. She assures me she had her moments and struggles, but apparently, she practiced sobriety and meekness, because I was never aware. If ever she did, it was minute enough that it didn’t make an impact enough on my life. I grew up assisting her in her loving service of my father. She would pour his drink, and we would carry it to him, and just before handing it over, we’d steal a sip and say, “carrier’s fee!” A lot of the time, mom worked a job, but she never failed to plan meals and pinch every penny she had. It may have been Hamburger Helper and a can of corn, but hey, I like cheeseburger macaroni! She always made sure that Dad’s dinner desires were met, and if she had received a can of asparagus in a pounding, she might treat herself to it if she felt like it. My mom had many complaints over us and our behaviour, and I am not stupid enough to say she is 100% faultless, but when you weigh out everything she taught us through example, I have to force up the negative memories. They aren’t what I recall, and that is unusual according to normal human behaviour.

So why am I writing yet another story of how great my mom is? What in this crazy world happened to me? I remember starting out my married life swooning over an imperfect man, ready and willing to devote myself to folding laundry, taming dust bunnies, and holding members hands as he pastored small churches. I remember standing up to the naysayers declaring our marriage would be different because we had such a respect for each other and the Bible’s teachings about marriage. But when you skip ahead to about a year and a half ago, I was living a hopeless life, wallowing in self pity, hating myself and my circumstances, and I had all fingers bolding and unabashedly pointing at my hapless husband. I blamed our unhappy marriage on our material circumstances. How did I get from “I don’t care if I live under a bridge, I’ll respect my husband” to this? For one, I know I was away from my mother’s influence. But no matter how I got there, I did. I’ve not fully recuperated from that line of thinking, but God and i have been working together to unscramble the mess I’ve made by trusting in my self instead of Him and the husband He gave me. I don’t want to turn this into a long drawn out sermon on Biblical wives (that’s a soapbox like homeschooling, I have no fear of being on), but if you take it back to the very beginning, Eve was created to help Adam be what God created him to be. I had fallen into the modern culture trap of “it’s all about the wife”, and fallen out of the wisdom and meekness my mother had instilled in me.

Going back to the original point of the discussion, I have decided to take a stand… about 2 feet behind my husband. My daughters’ success in their lives depends on me giving them an everyday example of what they need to yearn to be. Eliana is career minded, Lydia can’t decide if she wants to have babies or just be Eliana’s sister when she grows up, Chloe is confused in general, and that’s fine for a 3 year old, she’s a good follower so far, though. I don’t know if this world will last long enough for them to be adults, but that’s no reason to let down on my training. Eliana isn’t far from accountability, and all of my training isn’t just for teaching her how to be a good wife, it’s also teaching her how to respect God. So I’m going to tighten up my discipline, regain my naive adoration for my human husband, and live happily ever after in a heavenly marriage, designed by God.

If you’re a wife or will be one someday, please, please, please read “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debi Pearl. You can start off your curiosity with this article: “Carnal Husbands, Cranky Wives, and Cantankerous Kids“.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 at 7:52 am and is filed under Family, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.